Your Anal Probe Came Back Positive

Every man’s everyman Dinesh D’Souza is back in the fake news today with new and even more fabulous fabrications and alterations of objective reality that he is now calling a documentary, claiming that the earlier e-mail about his schmuckumentary was before running a spell-check.

None other than twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and professional right-wing fart machine Donald J. Turdwaffle took to whatever it is he takes to when he isn’t holding hillbilly Nuremberg rallies to tout D’Souza’s latest effort to bend the real world so as to envelop his stupidity-engorged trivial tool.

“Highly respected Dinesh D’Souza, such a great hero, working together with Catherine Engelbrecht, great gal, of Stroke the Vote,” Turdwaffle’s latest desperate Interweb plea for adoration began, “just released the trailer for their incredibly new epic movie, ’20,000 Mules For Sister Sarah,’ that gives the unbelieving world one final chance to agree that the 2020 Presidential Election was Rigged and Stolen, or they’ll be sorry. You can ask anyone.

“This great movie exposes the lies of the Democrats, RINOs, losers, whiners, judicial racists, and the Fake News who claim that I lost the ‘most secure election in the history of man,’ as if that is even possible. How could I lose? Sleepy Joe never even campaigned. I was way up in all my polls. I was winning on November 3 when I called the election, when Melania said: ’Sir. We need to go. You need your rest,” and I never argue with Melania, she’s the boss, but I never conceded. I still haven’t conceded. How could I lose when I have never conceded? That doesn’t make sense.”

Wow. I don’t know about you, but I’m sold. Where do I get my hat?