Repugnicunts Applaud Findings, Claim Global Warming Can Help Reverse Planetary Core Cooling

The virtual ink was barely digitized at the journal Earth and Planetary Science Letters where a paper announced the planet had grown unexpectedly chill, in addition to having become woke, before Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Word, TX) introduced legislation in the US Senate to subsidize new exploration for & production of fossil fuels "to compensate for heat lost to space by this sudden increase in cooling of the Earth’s inner God-given furnace.”

Cruz was joined by patriotic oil, coal & gas men and women from coast to fecal and oil-fouled coast in demanding changes to American secondary education & vocational training to respond to an urgent need for more of the highly paid & brutally efficient help required to keep broken things looking like they’re working just fine for as long as it remains profitable. It long ago ceased to be fun for anyone.

We were almost motivated by a fading memory of what journalistic integrity might entail to dig a little deeper into what a cooling core temperature might contribute to the hodge-podge of preposterous dilemmas currently conspiring to make our planet largely uninhabitable in less than a decade, but then I remembered I had recently finished priming a new section of cave wall upon which to record my most honest opinions in a medium not easily searched by law enforcement.

We’ve always been in these caves. Not all at the same time, but here and there some of us do not stagger or fall, but travel even deeper down the babble hole to bang our heads against some other mad bugger’s wall.

#DontLookInward