Fifteen Officers Mowed Down By Alleged Good Guys With Guns In Less Than 24 Hours

According to unnamed sources close to the ongoing slaughter, if God had intended for Americans to live peaceful and prosperous lives, He wouldn’t have guaranteed their crazy neighbors the right to discharge deadly projectiles into unarmed men, women, and children whenever they got a little pissed off about how life has been treating them.

We declined to give the NRA the opportunity to spin this factoid.