You Can’t Fault A Guy For Doing The Job He Was Hired To Do

John “Genuine Bull” Durham, the special prostitutor looking into how #BeBest to punish Dimwit Donald Turdwaffle’s political opponents until they promise never to vote against him again, bristles at suggestions he has politicized his investigation.

“I’m doing exactly what I was hired to do by [Attorney General Bill] Barr and The Big Guy,” Durham booms proudly, “a great and immensely popular man who may even be reinstated before this case is completed. You can’t fault a guy for doing his job, and I’m doing my job just fine, thank you, rubbing out all the unnecessary I’s and T’s.”

Durham insisted he is unable to show his mission statements from Barr and Turdwaffle to anyone because he was hired by executive order under executive privilege as part of an employment package covered by a non-disclosure agreement. He claims those documents have no expiration date.

In his latest filing with the court, Genuine Bull claims:

“Defense counsel has presumed the Government’s bad faith and asserts that the Special Counsel’s Office intentionally sought to politicize this shocking case, inflame media coverage, and taint the jury pool, simply because we can, but that is simply not true. We did it because that’s what we’ve been paid to do. The longer and the more of it I do, the more I get paid. It’s right there in classified black & white.

“If third parties or members of the media have overstated, understated, side-eyed, smirked at, mocked, or otherwise misinterpreted the preponderance of fully fabricated impartial objective facts contained in the Government’s Motion, that does not in any way undermine the valid reasons for the government’s inclusion of this inflammatory information, which is not only because that’s what we’ve got. The whole foundation of the law enforcement is giving it your best shot, which is why the Second Amendement is so important to our senseless form government.”