We Should Try This On The Southern Border

Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and professional political whoopee cushion, Dimwit Donald J. Turdwaffle, called Russian president Vladimir Putin a “genius” and “chemo saavy” this morning for recognizing the independence of two breakaway eastern Ukraine regions, while sending in peacekeepers to protect the border.

“As soon as I’m reinstated I’m gonna try something like this on the southern border and recognize the independence of Mexico from MS-13,” he promised. “Our peacekeepers, we have the best peacekeepers, best peacekeepers in the world. Our peacekeepers have been keeping the peace since even before we bought this country and built the many great plantations of our wonderful heritage.

“Seriously. Putin is pretty saavy. Here’s a guy that says, you know, ‘I can’t invade? Fine. I’m just gonna declare a big portion of international law irrelevant and write Ukraine a Declaration of Independence.'

"Just like that. He used the word Declaration of Independence, which is one of the greatest words in the English language. We’re gonna go out and we’re gonna stick it in Ukraine, in and out, in and out, and we’re gonna help get some peace. He’s the kind of guy who knows what he wants, sees it, reaches out, and grabs it.”