First They Took His Nobel Peace Prize & Now This

Former twice-impeached unindictd co-conspirator & first US president eligible to share a memorial rest area with Lavoy Finicum in lieu of a library, Donaldo Grabito Pussolini continued his relentless assault on American democracy by calling on his supporters to “end this persecutional Presidential Harassment of your favorite leader.”

“They keep making up one hoax, after another,” the frivilous fat fuck told a tumescent throng of euphoric incel ideologues at the Tender Tip Of The Spear USA Student Action Summit, whipping them into a patriotic froth by accusing liberals, antifa, BLM, the Constitution, the Founding Fathers, and do-nothing Democrats by conducting “a disgraceful campaign of persecution against my supporters, and by extension me.”

The blubbering bloviator saved his most vapid vitriol for former top aid to Vice President Mike “He’ll Eat Anything” Pence, Bitch Cassidy Huffenpuff, saying “I never met her. She’s a nobody who couldn’t even make me a cup of black coffee without creaming all over it.”

Pussolini insisted that Hutchinson got the entire interaction wrong between him and his Secret Service detail after his incitement to violence against Congress at the Elipse. 

“I was going to Capitol Hill to get the Medal of Honor from Hawley, Cotton, Boebert, and Jordan,” Pussolini told his moist audience, “but Guido and Thumbs refused to take me up there, telling me that Congressional Democrats weren’t going to let me spoil the Medal of Honor, as if I wasn’t the fucking president! Who the hell does Congress think she is?” he fumed, asking his favorite #ExistentialTrickQuestion.

“They even gave Ed Meese The Medal of Freedom,” the failed former führer whined, “and they can’t give me a stinking Congressional Medal of Honor for making America great again and putting an end to #AmericanCarnage

as I promised on my very first inauguration speech? #PromisesMadePromisesKept, I always say. Wait until you should hear my second inauguration speech, as soon as I’m finally reinstated.”