No Family In America Has Been Japped More Than Ours Says Former Führer’s Son

“I’m tired of taking arrows in my back from antifa and the Democrats,” one of former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator and only elected alleged mob boss ever to have his Florida estate raided by the FBI, Donaldo Grabito Pussolini’s morally defective offspring told Fox News Nazi propagandist Sean Hannity on Monday. “These people just won’t stop harassing our great family.”

“First it was Russia, Russia, Russia, and then we’re all a bunch of Klan guys trying to keep the darkies in their place,” Eric said. “And what about the Chinese Kung Flu, how was that our fault with all the information. They didn’t like that we made a bunch of money and they blamed us for mass shootings and that phony insurrection.

“Every day, we get another truck load of subpoenas,” Trump said. “That’s what this is about today, to have 30 FBI agents — actually, way more than that, hundreds, even thousands, maybe — invade our totally unprotected Winter White House, with no notice, you know, no collusion, no nothing.

“They go through the wide open gate, starting ransacking our offices and toilets,” Trump whined, "ransacking our closets, our night tables. You know, they even broke into an antique German safe, blew it up really. As if we would leave any evidence in a German safe at Mar A Lago. If they were really looking for evidence, they should have raided the Tower in New York. The security there is top of the line, like everything else the Trump family is known for.

“Our lives are an open book, a best seller really,” Trump added. “If you want to search for anything  if you think anything — like, come right on in and show us your invitation. We have an open door policy if you play by our rules.”