We’re Republicans, Not Repugnicunts, Mormon Smiles Slyly

Conceding that it is more likely Stormy Daniels replaces John Roberts as Chief Justice of the U.S. White Supremacist Court in 2024 than Liz Cheney does of becoming the GOP nominee for president, corporate Kochsucker Mitt McDaniels Romney told the Deteriorata News this week that he doesn’t “think someone who is seen as outside the immediate Trump circle jerk would have any realistic chance of becoming the GOP nominee in 2024, barring something I can’t foresee at this stage in the climate crisis, such as a DNA test showing a clear line between the Cheneys and our Nazi forebears.”

Romney was no doubt referring to the pre-EPA Reichstag Rescue Relief effort at the end of World War II, when nearly 800 prime Nazi breeding pairs were rescued from European communists to make America great again.

They made us forget how many of our best and brightest were slaughtered to make America great again by inventing the television situation comedy.

They gave us one minute management and just in time logistics.

They built our space program.

They designed our critical infrastructure to the same exacting specification of planned obsolescence that has made our supply-side plantation economy so profitable to those who like to own shit rather than do shit.

Nazis ensured the so-called enduring elements of America’s great experiment in letting the slaves think they were running things would fail in ways that they could blame on faggot Democrats and liberals and jigaboos and kikes and chinks and any other difficult to offend asshole by declaring corporations people and allowing them to engaged in unregulated campaign funding designed to protect our elections from being rigged by actual voters.

Today, America has more Nazis than nearly all the other dying countries on Earth combined, most of them heavily armed and ready to rock and roll. Even Paraguay, Uruguay, Bodega Bay, and Ecuador long ago initiated annual hunts to keep the vicious uneducated Nazis in South & Central America under control.

In 2021, the last year for which data is available, nearly 100,000 Nazis were harvested in the South American northwest during the spring cull alone, including 80,000 fecund does capable of producing three cute little Nazis every two years.

"Make no mistake. These Nazis are one of the most invasive species that ordinary humans have faced during their entire ludicrous existence,” said Nevar Altreich, Director of the Central American Nazi Neutralization & Nutrition Project, “with few or no natural predators. If we didn’t harvest several thousand a year, we’d be overrun with these toxic gun-addicted little shits like they are in the United States.”

After World War II, America relocated its most valuable Nazi assets to the continental United States to run its largest manufacturing operations, including its transportation, energy, pharmaceutical, weapons, and space programs, while providing logistics and training support to state and federal programs that encouraged development of the greatest community police state anywhere on earth.

The more problematic elements of the failed U.S. effort to establish a global Reich were sent to South and Central America because of a typographical error. They were supposed to go to Los Angeles to control our continuing uppity Negro problem.

When we thought momentarily about contacting someone in authority who might be able to honestly answer a question about our great pre-Trump Nazification program, we were suddenly struck by the uncomfortable idea that our posts were being moni…