Infallible Economist Tells It Like It Is

Former Federal Reserve chief Alan Norman Greenspan is warning that irrational exuberance in men’s underwear is a proven indicator of a cumming recession.

“He once told me that there is nothing more reliable in predicting the interests of the institutional investor than men’s underwear,” said veteran CNN analyst  Jeffrey Toobin, “because nobody worries about their underwear except perhaps in an Ohio State locker room or while engaged in locker room talk about grabbing pussies.”

According to Toobin, who is something of an expert on men’s underwear himself, Greenspan insists that when things get tight and sweaty, sales of loose-fitting boxers soar while fashion briefs slump because “men are so pinched that they refrain from showing off their junk to prevent activist traders from kicking them a good one.”