So Enkidu Prepared A Cradle For My Enemas, Volume 2, Chapter 22, Verse 50

I made a lot of enemas by making America great again. I’ve made so many, it must be a record. Remember when Kim Jong-un insulted me by calling me old, when I would never call him a short or fat or a stupid smelly communist? Oh well, I try so hard to be everybody’s friend & maybe someday that will happen.

A lot of states wanted the Space Force headquarters, but we put it in Alabama and that was not an easy one. You think this stuff is easy. It’s not so easy. They said it was not good for the environment. But I am an environmental president. A lot of people don’t understand that.

They see my hotels & they say “Oh he’s just another Robert Barron,” but what about all my beautiful golf courses? I think I know more about the enironment than most people, & the environment in Alabama is perfect for my Space Force Cadets.

By contrast, no administration in history has gotten off to a worst start than the Sleepy Joe Biden administration. There’s never been anything like this. What a disaster. Hold on, hold on. Let me finish. I paid good money to tell you this.

And I thought about that statement before it happened with the disaster that we’re witnessing in Afghanistan. Why are we even in Afghanistan?

I signed a peace deal, a great deal, state of the art, with the Taliban & everything was going to be great, but then the Democrats stole the election & backed out of my peace deal, & now we are the laughing stock. There is no laughing stock market. You know why? That’s right!

 Joe Biden is a failed president. He was born a failed president. He was a failed president in the Senate. He will always be a failed president. He’s ushered in one calamity after another. We were so great that our people were celebrating in the streets & at the Capitol.

When I left office, I handed Biden three vaccines to end the pandemic in record time, as I said, and yet under his leadership, the virus is surging back. Could you imagine if I were president and the virus was surging back? We learned from Obama’s mistakes.

She said it wouldn’t be. It wouldn’t come back. You know who I’m talking about. Yeah, that one’s actually tougher than the Taliban. I must be honest with you, but that’s something else. You 

But he’s reimposing mask mandates and threatening new restrictions on the American people, and meanwhile the caravans are still coming from Guacamala, Echodoor, Baleenzuela. Many, many new restrictions.

Meanwhile, 21% of migrant youth who recently crossed the border reportedly have COVID and they don’t have to do anything. They don’t have to wear masks. They don’t have to go through testing. They don’t have to do anything. No screening. No social distancing. No nothing. And the country is being infected by what’s coming over the border.

And not only with COVID. Biden canceled the Keystone XL pipeline. And as I said, it’s okay for Russia, but not good for us. Russia, Russia, Russia. That’s all they talk about, but why is it OK for Russia but not for me, for us?

Remember when he said we will not approve the America first agenda? I said, that’s a killer statement. Isn’t it? But he actually believes that, America first, the greatest I think we’ve ever had, the greatest statement as to what we want to do with our country.

And he said, “We are not for America first.” I said, did anybody actually tell him to say that? Where the hell is Hillary?