How KuklaM*A*S*H Got Over His Hump, Chapter 19, Verse 12

And this is what you get when you have weak knees in the White House. You can’t have weak knees in the White House. You don’t get nothing with weak knees. Weak knees is what leads to our downfall. They have to respect your President.

When I was President, we only had strength. We were strong, very strong, extremely, very, the strongest country in the world. Everybody thought so. Remember the 59 shots we took at Syria?

59 shots, with some very expensive missiles, some of these missiles cost as much as some countries, Greenland, for one, remember Greenland?

Greenland is worth less than some of these missiles, but every single one of them hit their target from 7 million miles away. Not one innocent civilian even gets a scratch. People were amazed. They couldn’t believe it.

Oh, sure, some of the disgruntled survivors claimed to be innocent, but you know better, we know better. Tell me I’m wrong. Everybody was amazed.

How does he do that? How does he just get the bad guys? Every time. How does he do it? Every. Single. Time. That Trump, he always gets the bad guys. We need more like him. We need him, but don’t worry, I’m not interested. I’ve got you. Right?

And I was sitting with President She-Bop of China, you remember? Having chocolate cake and Diet Coke at Mar-a-Lago with the head of China.

Smoking a big cigar. I like a good cigar after driving a hard deal and washing up. It was wonderful cake, but the drink was not cold enough. I told them I like it cold, but there you go. They don’t work there anymore, by the way.

You don’t make America great like that.

And when I said to him, what we had just done, the missiles were launched from Space Force One, freedom was flying into Syria, a crusade for liberty and justice for all Syrians around the world, and we were eating chocolate cake, so he looked at me and he goes, “Repeat.”

I didn’t know. I had no idea. He spoke English actually. He said, “Repeat.” Almost like he knew what it meant, and I said, “What did you just say, repeat?” So he spoke a little more English than I thought, but not nearly much more than me — I’m a word person. I have the best words.

That’s how I make deals. I have the best words and I know how to use them. You should hear me on the talk shows — but I was surprised he knew so many words because up until then he never even said hello.

But he said, “Repeat” and several other things I forget now. That was good enough for me.