‘The Bitch Is Lying’ Responds Trump Ally, adding ‘Accusation Is Libelous Fake News’
State Sen. Julie Hyde-Slamajama (R-Word, NB) accused Donald Trump-endorsed gubernatorial candidate Charles “Smokin’”Herbster (R-Word, NB) of “putting his hand up my dress and trying to grab my pussy” at a $5,000 a plate GOP dinner to raise money for the state’s “Black Lives Matter problem by providing these disgruntled people bus tickets to states more willing to put up with their uppity kind.”
Hyde-Slamajama claimed she watched as Herbster circulated among the young women in the room, fondling their breasts and buttocks “in a manner that bordered on sexual assault. I’m not naive. I know they say rich celebrities are entitled to grab a handful of pussy whenever they feel like it after four years of Donald Trump in the White House, but Hungry Chuck Herbster is neither rich nor famous and really he’s just kind of grody and gross. Euww.”
Herbster has denied all accusations, calling them “liberal fake news” and suggesting that the three dozen or so women at the event who have filed complaints saying he groped them inappropriately “were asking for it by the way they were dressed instead of wearing sensible pant suits. Even Hillary know better than to dress like a slut. How exactly am I expected to appropriately grope them?”
Former twice-impeached unindicted co-conspirator Dimwit Donald Grabito Pussolini declined to weigh in on the controversy, saying: “No comment. These women are not my type.”
